Raise your hand if you’ve ever walked into a room and instantly forgotten why you were there 🙋🏻♀️. Now raise your other hand if you’ve put the remote in the fridge or your phone in the pantry (bonus points if you found it next to the peanut butter). For years, I told myself, “Oh, that’s just mom brain. Totally normal.”
But plot twist: that’s not mom brain sis, that’s ADHD.
I didn’t know it at the time. I thought my scattered brain was just the side effect of keeping kids alive, being chronically sleep-deprived, and having the word “Mommy?!” shouted at me 482 times a day. Turns out my brain was playing an entirely different game of hopscotch.
The Mom Brain Myth I Clung To
After having my first baby, my brain basically turned into Swiss cheese. I’d start telling a story, lose the plot halfway through, and finish with, “Never mind, you had to be there.” My house looked like a scavenger hunt sponsored by Starbucks because there were half-drunk mugs in every room. I would forget words mid-sentence and start describing them like a bad game of charades: “You know… the thingy… the whatchamacallit… the doodad.”
Everyone reassured me this was just “mom brain.” Internet memes, my mom friends, even random Facebook posts told me: Don’t worry, it’s normal! So I accepted it like it was part of the mom starter pack: diapers, Goldfish crackers, and a foggy brain.
When “Mom Brain” Overstayed Its Welcome
Here’s where things got weird. My kids started sleeping through the night, but my brain didn’t “wake up.”
The fog didn’t leave.
The forgotten appointments didn’t stop.
The “oops, I forgot to pay the bill” moments kept stacking up.
I’d walk into Target to buy one thing (paper towels) and somehow leave with $200 worth of candles, snacks, and seasonal throw pillows. And yes, I’d still come home without the paper towels.
At some point, I had to admit… maybe this wasn’t just mom brain.
TikTok, My Unofficial Doctor
As any modern mom with a Wi-Fi connection would do, I went straight to TikTok for answers. Suddenly, my FYP was screaming at me in the most polite, algorithmic way possible:
“Do you constantly lose track of time? That might be ADHD.” “Does your brain juggle 57 thoughts while you’re trying to make dinner? Same.” “Ever hyperfocus so hard on organizing your sock drawer that you forget to eat? Hello, ADHD.”
Me on the couch at midnight, clutching my phone: Why is TikTok reading me for filth right now?!
That was the first time I thought, maybe this wasn’t mom brain after all.
Ding Ding Ding: The Diagnosis
Fast forward through some late-night Googling, online self-assessments, and finally, a very real conversation with a professional. I got the official words:
“You have ADHD.”
And let me tell you, the second those words left their mouth, it was like someone rang a giant bell in my head.
Ding. Ding. Ding.
All those puzzle pieces I’d been shoving under the rug for years suddenly snapped into place.
“Bright but doesn’t apply herself” written on my high school report cards. College all-nighters where I’d write a 10-page paper in one caffeine-fueled sprint. The graveyard of abandoned planners in my closet. The “mom brain” that just never went away.
Turns out, it wasn’t because I didn’t care or wasn’t trying hard enough. My brain was simply running a different operating system.
Why ADHD Masquerades as Mom Brain
Here’s why it’s so easy to confuse the two: both come with brain fog, forgetfulness, and distraction.
Mom brain is like temporary pop-up ads. Annoying, but eventually they close. ADHD is like your whole browser has 32 tabs open, three are playing music, and you can’t figure out where it’s coming from.
If you’ve got both? Congratulations, you’ve unlocked Chaos Mode 🎉
Hacks That Actually Help
Once I knew the truth, I stopped fighting my brain and started working with it. A few sanity-savers:
⏰ Timers: If I don’t set one, the laundry becomes a swamp.
🖼️ Visual cues: Out of sight = out of existence. So I keep meds, water, and to-do lists where I can literally see them.
📱Digital brain: My phone calendar has become my external hard drive, with reminders for the reminders.
😂 Grace & humor: Yes, sometimes I still put the milk in the cupboard. Now I just laugh, shrug, and text my friend “Guess what my brain did today?”
Why Talking About It Matters
For too long, I thought I was just failing at being a “together mom.” The truth is:
That’s not mom brain sis, that’s ADHD.
If your “mom brain” feels like it’s overstayed its welcome, if the fog never lifts, if you’re constantly white-knuckling through life with Post-Its and guilt, it might be worth asking if it’s something more.
Getting the diagnosis wasn’t about slapping on a label. It was about finally giving myself permission to understand why.
Final Ding Ding Ding
So here I am: still losing my keys, still saying “thingy” when I forget words, still making questionable Target purchases. The difference?
Now I know it’s not a personal flaw. It’s my ADHD.
And honestly? Realizing that might be the best mom glow-up of all.
Because sometimes the biggest relief comes from hearing those five little words:
That’s not mom brain sis, that’s ADHD.